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The new Britney single, Hold It Against Me, has landed! 

I’m usually a massive fan of Britney’s singles (Boys, 3, Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know, excluded), and HIAM is most definitely NOT piss poor – it’s actually pretty catchy – a Freemasons remix away from getting me on the dancefloor (either that, or several Jaegerbombs). 

On the other hand, it’s no Baby, One More Time. It’s no Piece of Me. It’s no Toxic. It’s more of a ‘Gimme More’ or a ‘Circus’ and has the potential to be one of those tracks that bloggers and critics commend at the time of release, but then look back and benchmark as an uninspired moment in her career.

I don’t get all the technical jargon but thank God for the admittedly Cascada-esque chorus. The verses are lightweight, and if you’re looking to Britney for lyrical prowess, you’ll be undoubtedly disappointed. ‘There’s a spark in between us, when we’re dancing on the floor, I want more, wanna see it…’ 

But then why would you look to Britney for anything other than a harmless pop track, eh? In a world of Gaga wannabes, electropopstars, and girls singing songs that seem way beyond their years, this is a pleasant enough antidote. 

Will it be her first number 1 single since Everytime, back in 2004? Well it’s not that good and she’s released better since. But stranger things have happened at sea…

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